Work a work work work

So, working full time really cuts into your free time. That's why I haven't been blogging much. That and my most recent adventures all involve moving, which there isn't much to say about. You get boxes, you fill them with all your stuff, you despair of how much stuff you have and try to throw some of it away, you debate with Chris the merits of keeping a box full of 3 1/2 inch floppies, you give up and say keep them, but at least stick em' in a box somewhere, you load the boxes into cars, you drive to the new place and unpack them so you can bring them back for loading more stuff, repeat and fade. It's made better by the fact that the new place is adorable. It has a great location, lovely hardwood floors, citrus trees in front and back that give lovely oranges year round. I'm thrilled.

Work has been good - last week I transitioned from being trained to being given real (hard) assignments. I like being challenged instead of being worried about what I'll do at work the next day and the stuff I'm working on is pretty much my ideal assignments. Very pure robotics with lots of math and writing code. I know, everyone's idea of a good time. ;-)

In other news, I finally feel like I can write freely about my dad because there's little chance he'll ever read my blog again. I've been hesitant to write before because I didn't want to invade his privacy. Last July, after having a seizure, he was diagnosed with GBM - a cancerous brain tumor. It's one of the few remaining cancers with no cured cases whatsoever. He participated in 4 experimental therapies in association with a Brain Tumor center at Duke. There was no miracle. His life was probably extended by these treatments, but ultimately each one failed to do much of anything except hold the tumors steady with an assortment of unpleasant side effects. Somewhere around July he stopped taking any treatments and stopped seeing doctors. There's nothing they can do for him anymore. Now he's at home being cared for by my mother and some wonderful hospice nurses and our family whenever they can get there and some wonderful local friends who bring over food and generally are around.

When I visited last weekend my dad was talking and eating only a little and was mostly confined to bed - except when my uncles and I got together and carried him. In the last week he's pretty much stopped talking or eating anything except a little water and the hospice nurse says his time is coming soon. But it's hard to predict because his body is really healthy, so it's just waiting for the tumor to come and find the breathing off switch. Sigh. It's been so hard on the whole family, and I think especially my mom. Everyone else can get away but she has to watch it every day and I'm sure it's hard for her.

In a lot of ways I feel like the last month has just been filled with stuff I do while I wait for the other shoe to drop. Some folks have commented that they're amazed I can just go to work and so on, but it just makes the waiting go more quickly. My sadness has been a low-grade ongoing thing. Maybe it's increasing a little, but there's only so much constant sadness I can maintain. I'm kind of a happy person by nature.

When I was last visiting my mom we got to talking about my dad's obituary. Well, I was proofreading it actually. Good thing too because there was a longer list of who he's survived by than who he actually was. Anyway, my sister has asked to speak at the funeral and my mom asked if I wanted to. After discussing it we agreed that my sister was really better at the mushy stuff, and I would be more suited to leading the after-party. Everyone is coming to my mom's house after the funeral and I'm intending to lead off the funny/happy stories about Bob phase of the ... uh... festivities (although that word isn't totally appropriate here). So I've been trying to think of stories to tell about my dad, but I'm having trouble knowing what is most appropriate. I mean, are you allowed to roast someone if they're not present? I'm just not sure how well some of my stories will be received - about weather forecasts he got wrong with humorous consequences... of his frugality to the point of calling funeral homes to find the best deal for his own service... I mean, clearly I'm walking a fine line here. I don't want to just hear crickets when I tell these stories... and I don't want to insult the memory of my father. Although he really does have a good sense of humor - if he was going to be present I would totally tell these stories. Anyway, opinions from others would be appreciated. I read this description in a book once of a wake of old, where people got together and drank a lot and told every great story they could think of about the deceased, and I really want that for my father. I'm not sure if I'll be walking unusual ground here or if people will catch on in a hurry... Anyway. Morbid discussion tonight, but my dad is on my mind almost constantly.

Ok. Time to go to bed so I can get up and beat the traffic... thank goodness my commute will shorten starting on Wednesday.

Write to me people. I crave contact.

Hair-do

Wait, you don't want to be teased anymore Annie?? Well, ok, if you insist.

It's so freeing to not have all that hair anymore. I'm not totally sure if I like the way it looks, but I love the way it feels. It took me like two seconds in the shower this morning.

I saw some interesting art online today. It involves nudity (tasteful... pretty much...), so beware when clicking at work.

Tennessee Teaser

Not much news from Tennessee - things continue much the same. My dad is confined to bed and has to be hand fed, but he seems pretty chipper all things considered. He's quite the fighter. I finally got some free time to make some edits to my thesis, so that should be ready to resubmit to my advisor when I get back. My mom's brother and sister and their spouses are in town also, and it's been fun telling all kinds of embarrassing family stories. This evening I got it in my head that I wanted a haircut so I talked my Aunt Teresa (a trained hair stylist) to take some scissors to me. We put it in a ponytail first and cut off enough to send to Locks of Love. I commented, "oh good! there's still enough to put into a ponytail!" At which point my Aunt grabbed a huge lock of hair at the top and cut off a bunch... by the time she was finished I had a radically different haircut and we decided we might as well add in some highlights. I look rather different now. Here's a teaser - including a photo of my Uncle who was enjoying toasting my new haircut, (and Locks of Love, and friends, and family, and good scotch and so on....)

Work

Ok, so I know you're all waiting with baited breath to hear how work has been. First off: tiring. That's why I haven't been writing. I work, I come home and eat, I go to bed. Not that I'm working that long of hours - I'm just exhausted when I get home. So far they haven't asked me to do anything impossible - I was worried last weekend that I would come into work and they would ask me to prove Fermat's Last Theorem or something and I'd end up fired right away. Of course this didn't happen. They had me sign a lot of paperwork and read up about C++ and go to a "boot camp" where they were training a bunch of the field trainers on how to use the product. So now I know a ton of the overall stuff about how to use the product and have started in on the details of what I'm actually going to be working on.

I think I'm getting used to the work schedule now - I feel like it's getting easier. And I already made some friends at work, including a girl who started the same day as me and is also an engineer. The guys who told me there were only 5 women at the company were just wrong - there's a lot more than that. But there's definitely not many women engineers. Anyway, Amy and I went shopping for shoes and jeans today, so I guess we're already best buds in girl world. Ha.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. I'm going to pack and get a massage and maybe geocache a little. Should be relaxing.

Adventures in the last week before work

Every time we're on our way to Tahoe we pass this big billboard advertising tours of the Jelly Belly factory. Of course we're always in a hurry to get to Tahoe, so we never do it and I always want to. Anyway, as a final adventure before work starts on Monday Chris and I made a pilgrimage to the Jelly Belly factory. We intended to go on a tour but once we got there it was an hour and a half wait for the tour and there were the most unbelievable numbers of hyperactive sugar-high screaming children... so instead we went to the store and had some free samples and bought like 10 pounds of "Belly Flops" - the rejects. On the way out I was feeling a little disappointed in having driven an hour and a half just to observe the chaos. So when we saw signs for olive oil tasting, we decided to go to that too. We tasted and bought some really yummy olive oil (all less than a mile or so from Jelly Belly) and the woman who sold us the oil recommended that we go visit this farm nearby with really fresh produce.
When we got there we discovered the most wonderful garden! We bought some amazing peaches and were almost leaving when I noticed they had pick your own carrots! Now, if you don't know me well, you might not know about my love of carrots. It borders on obsession. Anyway, I couldn't resist the chance to pick my own, so we went out to the fields and dug up a couple of pounds of carrots. They're really good too! It was so rewarding to get in the soil and actually yank them up. Maybe it's silly, but I really enjoyed it. Chris had to drag me away.