Weekend + Pregnancy vs. Cancer

So, I had a nice long weekend. Some highlights include:

• Seeing the new Indian Jones movie. I think it's my 2nd favorite of all of them. My 1st favorite remains Last Crusade.
• Making lemonade with the lemons from our backyard. Actually, what I made is some kind of lemonade concentrate. I juiced a bunch of lemons and then made a really thick simple syrup (water + as much sugar as you can get to dissolve in it) and mixed it and served it up. Turns out the outcome is both unbelievably sour and sweet. Totally drinkable, but afterwards you don't need anything sweet for days. I stopped drinking it straight and instead have just a splash in my iced tea.
• Hanging out with Chris. He's still on break while waiting for a response from his advisor regarding his thesis. It's such a luxury to have him around to just hang out with. We biked around, worked outside in the garden, ate together, played games. So relaxing and nice.
• Finished not one but two secret knitting projects. Will reveal more after they have been gifted to their owners.

Unfortunately the weekend has some lowlights too. Mostly just that I continue to feel sick: mostly nausea mixed with feeling extremely hungry. It's weird how closely those two have come to seem to me. Also, I have this theory that spring allergies give me a headache. No other symptoms, just a headache. Which is totally bizarre, but it happens every single spring when Chris is sneezing his head off.

So, I was chatting with my mom today and she asked how it was that I could have gone through 9 months of cancer treatment with almost no complaint and yet I'm only 3 months into my pregnancy and she's already sick of my whining. (Mom doesn't mince words.) I think the deal is that when you're being treated for cancer you're considered sick. You stop whatever it was you were doing, stay home, have people to take care of you (in my case, my Mom). No one expects you to do anything except survive and an attitude of cheerfulness just shows what a strong person you are. Furthermore, you get all the drugs you want to make you comfortable and if you sleep 14 hours a day (like I averaged those 9 months) then you're just doing what's good for you.

Pregnancy on the other hand, is not considered an illness. It's considered a gift (!). Granted I'm not exactly as as sick as when I was in cancer treatment, but I haven't felt wholly well since this began and some days I can barely get out of bed. Yet I'm expected to be able to hold down a full time job, do all my own shopping and dishes and cooking and laundry (with Chris helping out, of course), and be cheerful and happy (or at least non-whining) all the time because, just think of all those poor people who can't have children and would just love to be in my position. Oh, and you can't have any drugs for anything because they might hurt the baby.

I don't know, it just feels totally different to me. In one case you're surviving what must be survived and devoting all your energy and resources to it. In the other case you (perhaps foolishly) basically got yourself into this position and who cares if you're sick, better keep going. And quit whining. Sigh. Maybe I shouldn't write late at night when I'm tired (and hungry and nauseous).

Almost 14 weeks

I went in today for the Nuchal Translucency test. Basically it assesses risk factors for Downs and other chromosomal abnormalities. It's a three part test - 2 blood tests and an ultrasound with detailed measurements. I don't know what was going through our heads but Chris and I both thought it sounded like a test he didn't need to be around for, but then it was the most interesting one so far. It was a really long ultrasound and I got to see the baby moving around and see all its little fingers and its legs. Actually, the baby was kind of uncooperative and wouldn't get in the position needed for one of the measurements, so I had to lay on my side and cough and sit there awhile. Finally the tech told me to go take a walk and come back in a half hour and we'd hope that helped. I went and got a snack and some juice. When I got back the baby was in better position and it was funny because the tech asked me if I'd had juice. I said yes, how did she know, and she pointed out that the baby was (literally) bouncing off the walls. I guess all the sugar in juice makes them very active. Anyway, here's a photo:

As with all ultrasound photos it was so much more interesting when it was moving because you can really put together what everything is. In this one you can see the head and backbone really well, as well as a piece of a hand and a leg. Grow Dottie, grow! She's 8 cm long, and this makes me feel better about how much bigger I'm getting. It feels like getting fat, but if there's a big baby in there, then it's all ok.

I had a good weekend, but I guess it really took it out of me because I couldn't manage work today. I got up, showered, dressed, ate, got in the car, was driving to work and decided to turn around. I slept a lot of the morning and afternoon before the appointment. I think it was all the walking around - on Friday I walked all over San Francisco. On Saturday, Mountain View, and on Sunday Santa Cruz. It was fun but I need to remember to take it easier and/or sleep more if I want to keep going...

Cravings

The sixth most popular question people ask me about being pregnant is if I've had any strange cravings. I think they're hoping I'll say pickle ice cream or something, but I have no such good stories. For as long as I've remembered I've been a person who kind of craves things in waves anyway, and that hasn't changed. In the late summer I crave ginger beer and peaches. In the fall I crave yams and sweet potatoes and cooked carrots and chili and crisp apples. In the winter I crave heat. Now it's spring and I'm craving the usual: cherries and strawberries. And iced tea. Actually, I recently discovered the joys of the Arnold Palmer, and have been having those whenever possible. In the summer I also crave tomato and fresh mozzarella and that craving has arrived a little early this year. Perhaps because it ended prematurely last year with the tomato canning disaster experiment.

I guess the only unusual thing (for me) that I've craved recently is milkshakes. I have to make them myself because I can't find a place that makes lactose free milkshakes. I use lactaid, soy ice cream, and frozen strawberries (left over from last year's abrupt craving end). The soy ice cream is really not the same as real ice cream, but otherwise they're quite good. I bet a different type of soy ice cream could be better.

Grow Dammit

I have a mother-in-law who is funny, artistic, talented, and unafraid to mail anything whatsoever. Here's what arrived today in a box labeled "For your recalcitrant garden."

Isn't it great? I ran right out and plunked it down in the dirt. It can't help but speed things along, I'm sure. Thanks Mom!

Out of the closet

Ok, I've decided it's time to come out of the closet. Time to explain why all of the last 3 months posts have been me griping about how tired I am, when I bother to write at all. Time to post all the secret posts I've been saving for just this occasion. Time to announce on my blog what all readers of my blog already know (I'm pretty sure) which is that I'm pregnant. Woo hoo!
Here's the answer to the top 5 questions people ask me:

1. Right now I'm twelve and a half weeks along, and due November 19.
   
2. We don't know the gender of the baby yet but we intend to find out as soon as possible.
   
3. I'm not showing yet exactly, but a lot of my pants aren't fitting so I have to wear them unzipped (with belly band or rubber band) with long shirts over top. As a side note, it seems like my torso has gotten longer or something? All my normal shirts ride up and show skin.
   
4. I'm feeling better and better, but was nauseous and extremely tired for about a month and a half.
   
5. We've been thinking of names but haven't decided on anything yet. We've been calling the baby Dot since that's what it looked like on the first ultrasound. Chris says if the baby is a boy we can call it Tod instead. Har har.
   

I started telling a broader base of people at work at the end of last week and was therefore subjected to my first unsolicited scolding. I was looking in the fridge for a soda but didn't see what I wanted. A guy asked what I was looking for and when I said "Diet Sprite" he responded with "You can't have diet soda! Aspartame is very bad for the baby!" I told him, "So they say. Along with caffeine and meth. They want to take away all my fun." I don't know how else to shut people up about stuff like this... people can be so paranoid.

So, if you want to read what I've been writing on this subject since December-ish, just search for all posts tagged "baby". I think you can do that by just clicking on the baby tag below.

Tired...

I haven't been posting much, but then not much is going on. Work has been crazy - quite a few nights recently I've come home, eaten dinner, and gone straight to bed. That doesn't generate much in the way of blog-worthy news. This past weekend I went shopping, watched some movies, slept a lot... also not that blog worthy. Here's what I can offer up in the way of amusement: a dream I had last night.

In the dream I was really good friends with Rupert Everett. So, did you read that article recently about the pregnant man? Well, in my dream this man was actually Professor Homeless Dude, and he and Rupert Everett were lovers. And since I was such good friends with Rupe, they invited me to come with them to their first ultrasound. Isn't that sweet?